Love said to me, there is nothing that is not me. Be silent. ♥ Rumi
I wasn’t really sure what I was going to blog about when I sat down this evening. Really, it will probably just turn in to more ridiculous rambling.
Divorce sucks. It doesn’t matter what you do to prevent a parting of the waters as far as “sides”, or “friends and family” goes, someone is going to believe what they want to believe. It doesn’t matter if you make all of the right decisions, it doesn’t matter if you keep some things private, and others public. It doesn’t matter what you do, really, in the long run. I guess that is a lesson everyone needs to learn on their own.
The thing is, is you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors. You never, truly understand a divorce unless you are living it. You can defend your stance until you are blue in the face, or you can try and prevent anyone from gossiping ,or judging you and your decisions. They can suggest therapy, and who knows, you might already be going. They can give you advice on how to fix your own problems while inadvertently avoiding their own. They can spread gossip, defend gossip, judge you, or judge your separated spouse, but in the end the only two people, aside from the children living in the home (whos opinion might be skewed anyways) are the ones who know what truly goes on. Loyalty is a very powerful drug, and sometimes blood isn’t always thicker than water. Maybe it’s just easier to pass judgement on those we are close too? I don’t know. All I know is that people make some crazy decisions in the name of love and desperation.
I have faith that in the end it’s all going to end up exactly where it is supposed to be. I am okay with who I am, and my character, ethics and values are in place. Those who know me, and are close to me understand my position and why I chose the way I did.
Humans are funny creatures. Ultimately, we just want to be happy. And that isn’t a horrible thing. Sometimes forcing something that wasn’t meant to be, or changed in to something negative, breeds a very unhealthy enviroment. And you can only take so much before you break. Everyone will eventually break. And then they are standing in the shoes they were so quickly judging in the past. I think it is so ironic that when we announce to the Universe how awful something is, or a judge a choice, or how another persons life should be lived…it’s almost as if the Universe turns around with a smile and replies…”Oh really…”. And believe me, I am not exempt from this lesson.
I am taking a lot of slack for posting some of my personal thoughts on what I am going through now. But it is all honest. And there are no details for most of my far away readers, only a general perspective. It is simply a look inside how something like this makes me feel. And I know there are others out there right now going through something similar, and if it helps them get through those first few months that are incredibly tough and relentless, then so be it.
Just please pay attention. Be careful, you might think you know and understand a situation, but in reality, you probably don’t. Love someone who needs it, see through those who are fighting to get through every single difficulty that is presenting itself. Most of all, just be careful with your words. Words are worse than physical actions in my opinion. It’s easy to forget a face, but it’s really hard to forget cruel, and mean words. They tend to burn a scar in to your head, but more importantly a heart. And those scars, are not erasable.